


Callum's Pain

by Stories_can_make_us_fly



Series: Two Sides of Heartbreak [1]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Aftermath, Break Up, Episode Related, Hurt Callum, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21901105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stories_can_make_us_fly/pseuds/Stories_can_make_us_fly
Summary: Callum right after Ben breaks up with him.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Two Sides of Heartbreak [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1580842
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55





	Callum's Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone,  
> friday's episode crushed me. That break up scene was so brutal. T.T  
> I'm relatively new to EastEnders and hadn't planned on writing anything, but this just got into my head last night and wanted to be written.  
> So here it is.  
> Hope you like it and let me know what you think.

**Callum’s Pain**

Callum felt numb. He stood in the middle of the square next to the giant Christmas tree and stared after Ben’s retreating back. Despite being ripped to pieces only moments ago, his heart beat fast in his chest and pounded against his ribcage. It would have hurt, if he wasn’t already hurting all over. He didn’t know what to do, couldn’t move. Just stood frozen to the spot where his whole world had come crashing down around him.

Someone walked by, said his name, asked if he was alright. Callum answered on autopilot, his words not even registering with his brain.

He only realised he had moved at all when he found himself standing in the middle of his flat. Blinking, he looked around. Nothing had changed since he had gone after Ben. As if nothing had happened. As if Callum hadn’t just had his feelings thrown back into his face by the man he was in love with.

He saw Ben’s shirt lying on the kitchen counter. The bloody shirt that had started this whole mess. He stared at it, willing it to disappear. To make all this a horrible, horrible nightmare from which he would wake up any moment now to find himself safe in his bed with his boyfriend wrapped around him. He waited and waited, but nothing happened. The shirt kept lying there, mocking him. The Christmas decorations Stuart had put up laughed at him.

Callum probably would’ve stood here all night if it weren’t for Stuart and Rainie. In a panic and unable to see or speak to anyone, Callum grabbed the shirt and fled to his room as he heard the happy couple coming up the stairs.

The door slammed shut behind him. Callum leaned against it, listened to the sound of Stuart and Rainie waltzing through the living room, celebrating. He could hear their muffled voices as Stuart told his girlfriend how much he loved her. And he could hear Rainie telling Stuart the same.

The dam broke and Callum dropped to the floor. Tears streamed down his face and violent sobs wrecked his body. Ben’s word kept playing in his head like a broken record.

“ _I don’t love you. And I don’t want your love.”_

He felt like he was being stabbed over and over again. A silent scream wrenched itself from his body.

It hurt. It hurt so much!

Callum pressed Ben’s balled up shirt to his face. He could smell Ben on it: his aftershave, a whiff of cheap alcohol, and that scent that was so uniquely Ben. If it was possible, Callum’s heart broke into more pieces. Tiny little shards that pierced his soul and ripped it into shreds.

His dad was right: he was worthless and pathetic and no one would ever love him.

His mum hadn’t or she wouldn’t have left him.

And Ben didn’t, because Callum was weak and boring and naive.

Callum cried and cried as he remembered every hurtful comment his dad had ever made.

As he remembered Ben turning around and leaving him.

“ _I don’t love you. I don’t love you. I don’t love you.”_

Callum had been a soldier. He had been to war, had seen people die. He had lost friends. He had fought so hard to finally be his true self and to like the person he was. He had fought for Ben to give them a chance. He had been beaten down countless of times to stand back up.

But lying curled up on his hard bedroom floor, shivering and crying while his heart and soul screamed in pain, Callum didn’t think he had the strength to get up again.

Not this time.


End file.
